


'Look at me in they eye, is anyone there at all?'

by destiel_lemmings



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Brief make out session, Falling Out of Love, Falling deeper in love, M/M, Past Abuse, Sad One Shot, This is now multiple parts lol, brief mention of sex, past abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-18 06:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4695809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destiel_lemmings/pseuds/destiel_lemmings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael loves Luke with all of his heart, but after a while a question becomes prominent, does Luke?</p><p>Or a super angsty one shot I wrote while listening to Girl Who Cried Wolf</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo I have no idea where this came from, I was going to go for a completely different one shot and I started listening to Girl Who Cried Wolf. And this happened, if you listen to the song with this i think it makes it even sadder, idk I think this is one of my sadder one shots lol. Well hope you enjoy!

The beginning of their relationship was amazing, beautiful even. Michael loved Luke and vice versa. All Michael can think about was the happy moments they shared, they have been together for three years. Each year Michael falls deeper and he thought Luke did as well. But the past months have pushed Michael into questioning that. He knew Luke has had bad relationships in the past but he thought he helped him through them. Luke was 14 when the first shitty boy rolled around.

From what Michael knows the douche bag ruined Luke, making him emotionally scarred and detached. When Luke was 16 the second one came, he was sweet and kind at first. Luke had just freshly gotten out of his old relationship and Michael was happy that he found someone good. But as luck seems to go it just wasn't right. To everyone's face they were so bright and happy but one day Michael went to surprise Luke on his birthday, he walked in to see that Luke was in his knees begging the piece of shit not to leave and for the other boy the hit him and say that Luke was a 'fat ugly piece of trash that nobody would love.'

Michael stepped in and to say that the pig wasn't able to walk was an understatement. Luke cried and screamed for the boy to come back while Michael held him through his cries. It took two years to make Luke believe that he deserved love and that he wasn't any of the words the boy said. Luke still was distant, not really emotionally connecting with anyone not even his parents. Jack and Ben tried to be there for the boy, making sure that Luke knew he was loved by his family and keeping there teasing to none.

Luke got better slowly and by the time he was 19 Luke was his normal weight, he was smiling, he was back to his old self. Well almost, and as he got better his and Michael's relationship grew into one more romantic, in fact Luke made the first move. Michael already knew he was in love with the boy from when he was 13. He was ecstatic when Luke returned his feelings. The first year of dating was hard but they progressed through it. It was easier then most because Michael already knew Luke's triggers and his habits.

Luke had his old sparkle in his eyes that had dimmed. Michael felt proud that his boy was doing so well. But as another year went on Luke lost that sparkle again. It only returning sometimes, each time Michael would ask about it Luke would storm off, yelling through the whole apartment leaving Michael heartbroken behind. And today was no different. Today was their anniversary, but it seemed Luke didn't realize that. Michael made Luke breakfast and called into work so they could have a lazy day until dinner time where they would go for fancy dinner.

There Michael would pop the famous question. But when Michael brought him his breakfast Luke just pushed it away, saying it looked gross and he just wanted to sleep. Michael just sighed and took the food away, the film that covered his eyes for a long ass time was finally wearing thin. Did Luke truly love him anymore? Michael shook the question away, he decided to still go through with his plan. Michael was eating at the kitchen alone which seemed to happen more often.

Luke came in fully clothed and Michael asked where he was going. 'God Michael, do you always have to be on my ass? You know what? I'm going out, goodbye.' Luke stormed out of the room Michael following. Michael grabbed his wrist 'Luke, god, where are you going?! What's going on with you?! Do you even know what today is?' Luke shook his head trying to rip out of his hold. 'Michael let me the fuck go, I don't get why you're so clingy right now.' And with that he stormed out, leaving Michael heartbroken in his wake.

Michael spent their anniversary alone and crying. But by the time the dinner reservations rolled around he decide he had to do something, he had to confront Luke. Michael couldn't take it anymore, Michael would never leave Luke but that doesn't mean Luke wouldn't leave him. And by the time he had everything he wanted to talk to Luke about the blonde boy was home. Michael knew he still had dried tears on his face but he didn't give a shit. Luke walked right past him to the kitchen.

"How was your night? Cos' mine wasn't too great." Michael wanted to get this over with.

"It was fine, why? Can't you handle a day alone?" 

"You see I would but today happened to be a special day."

"Well that's unfortunate." Luke eyes held no emotion, Michael's heart broke.

"You don't even understand do you? Luke look at me and tell me, do you even still love me?" Luke avoided his eyes. "Wow, so this is how it's going to go down huh? Each day I fall deeper and deeper in love with you while you fall out?" Still more silence. 

"What do you mean Michael, I'm still me I still love you." But Luke's eyes betrayed him, glued to the floor and blank.

"Really? Then look at me. Look at me in the eye, is anyone there at all? Your always running away when I try to talk to you. You don't talk to me you don't smile. Is anyone there at all? Look at me Luke and tell me you are!" By now Michael's eyes were burning with how much he was crying.

"I-Mikey-I I love you. Babe don't do this, let's just start over please, you know me." Luke tone was soft then it turned harsh his mood switching, "You know what! Just fucking leave! Leave like everyone else, I don't need you! Just go." 

"I'm not leaving, no no I'm not leaving Luke I'm staying here until you tell me everything."

"There's nothing to tell, and if you don't leave I will." Michael didn't want it to come to this, he loved this boy so much. 

"Luke you say you wanna start again but your always running away, always calling a quits when things get to hard. Just look at me in the eye and tell me you still love me."

"I-I'm sorry but I can't, I love you but I can't." Michael knew that this was the end.

"Well then I want you to take this ring, and my heart. Happy 3 years babe." Michael set the black velvet box on the table in front of Luke. He turned to go to their room with tears pouring down his face. He heard Luke's sobs and he knew that this time, Luke had to pick up the pieces himself if this is what he truly wanted. Michael's hope diminished when he heard the door to the apartment slam shut. Well, this was Luke's great escape. And Michael was the one left torn and broken this time. Michael didn't leave, Luke did, and god Michael hoped it wouldn't be tragic but like all good things, it comes to an end.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any mistakes, I write on my phone and autocorrect is a dick lol. Feel free to correct me. There may be a part three, but right now I'm starting school and writing my book so it might take a while to write, anyways enjoy!

Michael wishes he could say that he understood Luke's choice. But he couldn't, he didn't understand what happened. Michael winced as the memories from a couple of nights ago. He was currently laying in bed, he had just gotten home from work, he was staring up at the ceiling trying to figure out where they had gone wrong. When Luke was no longer emotionally there, Michael's heart ached once again as he remembered that even though he basically told Luke he wanted to marry him the blonde boy left.

Michael's eyes flickered over to Luke's use to be side of the bed, where there was once a smiling blue eyed boy there was just cold sheets now. The dark haired boy just sighed, there was no point in crying over someone who didn't love you, even if they ripped your heart out. Michael knew it wasn't a very good way to deal with things but he cried enough when he boy-ex boyfriend left and Michael would much rather bottle up his feelings now. He felt stupid to think that Luke still loved him, the signs were there everyday but it wasn't until now that Michael saw them.

Michael got up and went to the kitchen to make some food when his eyes landed on the black velvet box that he had yet to touch since that day. Michael suddenly grew angry, he gave Luke everything and this was how Luke was going to repay him? He helped Luke through all his problems no matter how big or small and in the end Luke just leaves? Michael wished that someone could look him in the eyes and tell him this was a dream, but as recent custom no one was there at all. Michael decided that if Luke wanted to leave that he wasn't going to chase him, if Luke really wants to leave then so be it.

\------------------------------------------

It's been a three weeks and no word from Luke or his family. To say it hurt was an understatement but Michael knew that he had to move on from his first love. So that night he packed up the rest of Luke's belongings and the velvet box and pushed them to the back of the closet. Michael missed Luke but Luke made it obvious that he didn't care anymore. Michael cried that night as he deleted all the evidence that proved Luke had been in Michael's life off of his phone. Michael fell hard and it would be even harder to fall out of love, if that was even possible.

The last picture in his phone was of Luke smiling widely at the camera while Michael kissed his cheek. Michael remembered that day, it was in the first year and it was Michael's birthday. They had gone out for a cute romantic date, Michael had begged for Luke to take a picture with him and Luke couldn't refuse the birthday boy. Michael's tears fell as he went to press delete, but for some reason he couldn't do it so he just exited his pictures and laid down for the night. Michael thought maybe, just maybe he could get over Luke.

\------------------------------------------

Michael had now moved half way across the country for his job, he had gone to school for three years and now he was actually making a living off of it. The whole reason he went into music production and helping bands write was to distract himself. And god did it work, in fact his whole life was his work. Michael hasn't dated anyone since Luke and he didn't mind, he'd rather make kick ass music than get into a relationship that was probably destined to fail.

Michael unpacked the last box from the truck, when he finally got up to his apartment he was relived he was only on the third floor. Michael was only slightly sad to move from his home town and old apartment but it held to many bad memories and he couldn't take it anymore. Sure Michael still longed for Luke because deep down he knew that you never fall out if love with your first, but now he felt like he could breathe. His phone went off with a text indicating that he had to work tomorrow and that they were sorry for it being so fast after his move but Michael didn't care. He loved his work, and his work loved him an that's all he needed.

\------------------------------------------

Michael and a couple of his work friend were out celebrating his success. He had just opened up his own record label that's been a total success. He made it so that underground bands or just people with big dreams can come in and make a demo for absolutely free and that if they wanted to they could sign with him. Michael didn't really think of it as a record label, just something to help aspiring artist get to the resources they need without breaking their bank because it's always a sad story when some one has worked their ass of just to be another plain Jane.

So, when he finally save up his money from being wildly successful in music production and having countless hit songs with bands he branched in his own. The only thing now according to them is that 'Mike you need to get laid, or just be in a relationship. For as long as I've known ya you've been single and you need to change that!' And now Michael was sitting in a booth downing shots at some club that was way to crowded for his liking. Michael was tired of this place but as he took more shots the more he loosened up, and he can't deny that it felt good.

After multiple shots of straight tequila and random crazy drinks he was full out drunk, he friends pulled him to the dance floor trying to set him up with someone and Michael didn't care. It had been so long that he's actually felt this happy and giddy that he wishes he'd drink more. After a while of grinding on random people he felt hands on his waist, Michael just moved along with them. Michael's ass was pressing flush up against the stranger while the shitty song played.

It felt good to have someone against his body so Michael went on impulse, he pulled the boy into a crooked kiss. The angle made it hard to see what each other's faces actually looked like but all Michael knew was that the lip ring was driving him crazy. Michael could tell that the boy was much drunker than he is and that's saying a lot since Michael can barley walk straight. 

"How about we take this to my place?" Michael's intoxicated brain was to excited to register the words slipping out of his mouth and before he knew it they were making out in his bed. Their movements were sloppy and quite literally filthy. Michael decided to be a bottom for tonight even though he had mostly been a top, tonight is a night for new things right. His room was still pitch dark, not a stream of moonlight and he still had no clue who or what the boy fucking him looked like. All Michael knew was that it had been to long.

The mysterious boys cock hit all the right places in Michael making him scratch at his back hard and after the boy shot his load into Michael and he felt the boys cum filling him full was when he came with a cry. The only thing he didn't register totally is that the moans sounded familiar but he didn't know how, nor care. Michael just focused on sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this wasn't too horrible, this mostly just builds up the plot till I upload the third part which I am currently starting I just don't know when it will be totally finished. Anywhoo, thank you for reading! If you want to request anything feel free to leave a comments or message me on kik: destiel_lemmings or my tumblr(s): crackvon-d (main) destiel-lemmings (more for writing lol)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after Michael goes out with his friends he's able to find out who he brought home. But god, he wished he didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooooo! So I thought this was only going to be three chapters but it's not! I have no idea how many more so I guess this is turning into a small fic? Idk lmao anyways enjoy!

Michael woke up to a pounding head ache and a arm wrapped around his waist. At first he didn't know what happened before it all came flooding back. The celebration, dancing, and then fucking a stranger that he doesn't even know the name of. And god Michael has never gotten that hammered before. Michael turned slightly to see who the mysterious boy was, and then Michael's world came crashing down. The same blonde hair, the same button nose, the same lips only now adorned by a black hoop.

And Michael felt like he couldn't breathe, why did fate hate him, how could out of all the possibilities that he ended up fucking Luke Hemmings the boy who ripped his heart out. Michael swore out loud not caring if he woke Luke up. He ripped out of Luke's hold, and ran out of the room ignoring the fact that his ass had a dull ache in it. Michael took a few minuets to compose himself, he decided that he'd first try to play it off like he didn't realize that it was him or kick his ass out while he was still naked.

Michael preferred the latter but he knew he had to be logical. He took a deep breath before going to make breakfast, what can he say, he's hungry. He didn't realize Luke was in the room with him until he heard a gasp and a disbelieving "Michael?" Until he realized neither of his plans will be working. He slowly turned and quirked and eyebrow up at the blonde. Michael made no move to talk to him, he knew it was petty but he could care less. Luke's eyes held surprise and Michael just turned around not saying a word.

Michael could hear Luke shuffle closer to him, and he had to admit he was surprised that the boy didn't flee the apartment like all those nights ago. Michael made sure that his body language remained indifferent even though his heart was fucking racing. Michael swallowed some of his pride and asked the taller boy if he was hungry, he didn't want to be nice but he couldn't be petty forever. His voice had a slight tremor and he cursed himself for it, he shouldn't be this effected by his ex.

It was silent in the small room once again before Luke broke it telling Michael that he was indeed hungry. Luke's voice had it's own shake to it. It was quiet all the way through the end of him making it and serving it, he could feel Luke's eyes on him and if Michael was being honest he wanted to run away.

"So um how-how have ya been mike?" Luke's question broke through the air, Michael so did not want to have a heart to heart right now so he decided to fib a bit.

"I've been great Luke, almost perfect, yourself?" Michael cringed at the overly professional tone in his voice, it gave away to all the things he was trying to conceal.

"Oh-um-I've been okay. So what puts you on this side of the country?" Michael looked at Luke with surprise, he doesn't mean to brag but almost everyone knows who he is. Writing with different bands and most of the hits going number one gave him some second hand fame and he was in fact recognized in the street. So hearing Luke not know this was astonishing.

"Wow that's surprising, almost everyone knows aha. I'm over here as a music producer and I help bands write lyrics and shit obviously, in fact I just opened my own label which is why I was out last night and this all happened." At the end he may have been slightly rude but he could care less. And even still the mood shifted entirely, Michael knew it was because he relaxed when talking about his job. He loved his job, it was probably the best decision he's ever made in his life.

"Oh wow Mike, I had no clue that's awesome man! I'm really happy for you!" Luke's tone was genuine and that made Michael smile and remember the good times he had with Luke.

"Yeah, I love my job. So what brings you over here?" Michael was happy that he and Luke were getting along, after the way things ended he never imagined they would be able to be civil. But Michael's happiness dimmed when Luke's smiled disappeared.

"Oh um, well I've been here since, well since y'know. We um-broke up." Oh, of course. Luke want to get away from Michael so he fled. Though it hurt Michael's heart he wasn't surprised, Luke always ran away when things got hard. And after all, it's not like you want to run into your ex/almost fiancé.

"Oh yeah right...the 'break up'." Michael winced at the tone of his own voice, it sounded drained and exhausted. The happiness draining from before. "Well, I-um-I guess you should probably get going. I have to work today." Which was total bullshit, Michael just didn't want Luke here. In his space. He didn't want Luke around again because once you break someone's heart you're not allowed to come back and fuck up their life again.

"Oh, well how about we have lunch sometime? So we can catch up?" Luke's tone was innocent and it infuriated Michael. Why does Luke get to be normal and act like he didn't ruin multiple years of love? 

"No Luke, we won't have lunch." Michael cut Luke off before the blonde could speak, his blue eyes gleaming with hurt. "You know why we can't have lunch? Huh? Well that's easy, because you're a fucking asshole who tore my heart out. You ruined me, you took my heart and broke it with that slam of the door. Do you know how it feels? To fall deeper and deeper in love with someone who is falling out? Who won't even look you in the eye!? Tell me Luke, look at me in the the damn eye, do you? So now if you'd please go get your shit and leave, thank you." Michael had tears running down his face, and once again the safety pins holding his heart together was torn.

"I-but-Michael I'm sorr-" 

"Shut the fuck up Luke and leave!" 

"Okay okay, I'm sorry I really am, please I'm leaving my number. Let me apologize next time please?" Luke's own voice held choked sobs. Michael's back was still facing Luke until he heard the taller boy go into the bedroom to get his clothes and it wasn't until after the door shut softly is when he broke completely.

Who knew that one night could break him into pieces again? Michael fought so hard to numb all the left over feelings Luke left and yet here they are back again. Michael wished that he didn't go out the previous night, wished he would have stayed home and never gotten wasted. Wished he never brought Luke home and wished he never expirenced Luke's lips on his once again or felt Luke's body pressed against his. And god, Michael hated Luke with all his being.

Michael took one look on the table and saw a piece of paper siting there. The crumpled and ripped off corner held Luke's number and maybe Michael should have thrown it away but he couldn't. He tucked it away in a random drawer, and for the first time in a long time his heart ached, but not because of heartbreak but of re-strengthening love. And even though Michael didn't fully understand what he was feeling, oblivious to the fact it was love and not heartbreak, he couldn't believe that he was feeling something again, he had been numb for so long he forgot how it felt to feel. Tears streamed down his face as he wished the burning sensation away, because after all, the heart never forgets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo did you like it? Would you like more? Cos I could honestly leave it right there lol. But anyways I hoped it wasn't to horrible, if you have any request or want to chat my tumblr is: destiel-lemmings (writing updates) and crackvon-d (muh main) sooo yeah. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael hurt, everywhere. And then he doesn't hurt as bad anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo! I'm backkkkkkk! Lol anyways hope you enjoy! Also, I apologize for any mistakes, I write on a phone and let's just say that autocorrect doesn't like me lol.

Michael's head hurt. His chest hurt. His body hurt. He didn't understand why, well actually he did, he just didn't want to admit it. It was Luke, the stupid blonde boy that had once again popped up into Michael's live again. The one time Michael is actually in a good place with his life the past comes up to haunt him. Sure it had been three weeks since the shitty reuniting of Luke and him, and yeah he still shouldn't be feeling like shit but of course he still did.

It was currently midnight and Michael had to wake up at eight the next morning for work. He was laying in his bed that lately has been feeling way to big for one person. Michael picked up his old ass phone that he's had for over five years and unlocked it. It was an old iPhone 4 that he got when they first came out, it was breaking away in his hold practically and even though he has enough money to buy the latest version he couldn't care to actually purchase it.

Michael went through his Facebook timeline, twitter timeline, and Instagram feed for a while. Liking photos, retweeting tweets from friends and sending banter over the internet seemed to lighten his mood slightly. He saved a picture and realized that he hadn't gone through them for a long time, Michael was interested to see what pointless photos he had saved in the past. He starts at the bottom first but it's mostly just ugly selfies with bands he's written with and friends so he reverts to going all the way to the top.

There's not as many photos as Michael thought there would be but he guessed that was a good thing. It was mostly just dumb tumblr jokes and selfies that Michael couldn't believe he actually took. Most of them he could tell were taken when the home was brand new judging by his more natural dyed hair, chocolate brown. He was probably 17 or 18. Michael had started experimenting with crazy colors when he was about 20/21 and he's never wants to go back to his natural blonde.

He keeps scrolling, laughing here and there and he started to feel better but then, of course, there's one picture that makes his heart stop. The picture consisted of Luke, he was staring into the camera while Michael kissed his cheek. Michael gasped slightly at the blondes face, it's held pure joy and happiness. Michael now remembers how this picture was still on his phone, and that broke his heart and yet simultaneously healed it at the same time.

He wiped the light stream of tears out of his eye, and he let himself be selfish. He missed Luke, he needed Luke, so he gave in against his brain, after all the heart wants what it wants. He slowly shrugged off his blanket and moved out of bed, glancing at the time on his phone, 1 am. Michael knew it was crazy and irrational, and at that moment it started to rain. The beating of the rain making Michael sigh in bliss as another memory came back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael laughed lightly at Luke, the blonde had just slipped on the hardwood floor in their apartment. Michael smiled at his boy who was now flushed from his cheeks down his neck while putting the finishing touches on their brand new couch that had just arrived even though they had moved in a few days before. He fixed the pillows while throwing a soft and fluffy blanket across the back. Michael felt hands settle around his waist and he felt the taller boys head settle against his shoulder blade.

"What are you doing babe?" Michael laughed softly at the younger boy.

"I don't know honestly." Luke's voice was muffled by Michael t-shirt.

Both boys were broken apart by the sound of lightening cracking down followed by booming thunder. Michael jumped slightly while Luke pulled the older boy closer. At the sound of heavy rain Michael could feel a smile grow on his face, he loved rainy days. Mostly because that meant that him and Luke would be having a cuddle lazy day. Another wave of thunder vibrated though the brand new apartment. Michael pulled Luke closer to him and kissed him softly, Michael swore he would never get bored of doing it.

"Lukey, why don't you go grab some of our pillows and bring them down here. I think it's time we break in this new couch with some major cuddling." He could see the excitement grow in his boyfriends blue eyes. The lanky blonde was out if the room before Michael could even blink, excitedly running up the stairs.

As they cuddled on the couch with the lights off and candles illuminating the room, only soft kisses and words being exchanged, was when Michael knew that he wanted to marry this boy. The soft glow of the dim light reflected off Luke's gentle face making him seem so young and so happy and Michael couldn't help but to think, he'll never leave this boy, the one who stole his heart at age 13.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael's tears were no longer out of only sadness but nostalgia. He remembered how that night they promised that they would get married some day, and even though they were both young, to Michael he never forgot it. He missed his best friend, his first love, he missed Luke. And when he finally got out of bed, the sound of rain lulling him into a trance he dug through the drawer he threw those messily scribbled numbers in. When he pulled up a message he didn't say a greeting.

To: Him  
Do you remember that one night when we first moved into our apartment together and it rained so hard our power almost went out. And we had to use candles and we promised that one day we would get married?

From: Him  
Yeah, I do mike

To: Him  
What happened?

From: Him  
I'm so sorry

To: Him  
1 attachment

Michael smiled once again at the photo

To: Him  
Meet me at my studio tomorrow, noon

From: Him  
Wouldn't miss it for the world

And now, Michael doesn't hurt as bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo what did you think??? Hope you liked it. If you have any requests or anything you can message me on one or more of these accounts lmao  
> Kik: destiel_lemmings  
> Tumblr:destiel-lemmings  
> And now twitter! It's: destiel_lemms lol thanks for reading!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo was that any good? Idk if it was, I'm literally running on no sleep and that's why this isn't edited. So sorry for any mistakes, as always Comments and Kudos are welcome! My tumblr is: crackvon-d (main) and destiel-lemmings (here I let you know when I'm writing/updating and take request) oh and if you wanna chat my kik is: destiel_lemmings
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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